Discover 3 ADHD-friendly ways to reduce mental load, simplify holiday tasks, and make more time to enjoy the season.
In This Episode: How to Reduce Your Mental Load During the Holiday Season
The holidays can put extra pressure on an ADHD mom's executive function with all the planning, remembering, decision-making, and schedule changes. But reducing holiday mental load doesn't mean giving up the traditions you love! Here are three practical ways to make the holidays easier with ADHD: externalize your executive function, reduce the effort required to get things done, and create space to recharge.
Prefer to listen? Find this episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Amazon Music.
It’s about this time every year when I am just starting to feel like I’m finding my groove with our schedule after school starts then BAM…the holidays hit.
And with all the planning and organizing and remembering and socializing and potential emotional dysregulation on the horizon for our ADHD executive function, I figure it was a good time to discuss how to lighten that mental load so we can spend less time feeling overwhelmed and more time actually enjoying the holidays.
Part of what makes us ADHD moms magical is our love of pomp and circumstance. We love going overboard and creating amazing memories.
Unfortunately, if we go-go-go too much, we might run out of steam before we reach the holiday finish line on January 1st.
Need more ADHD Holiday Tips?
Explore my ADHD Moms & the Holidays playlist for help with holiday planning, overwhelm, and self-care.
And the holiday season is chock full of ways to tap out our executive function. We’ve got FOMO over gifts and events testing our impulse control.
Then there are disruptions and changes in our regular schedule that mean more or different decision making, planning, and transitions than we’re used to.
And I don’t know about you, but I often feel worn out from a regular old basic week of work and school.
But never fear…reducing your mental load and making it through the holiday season as a busy, business-owning ADHD mom doesn’t have to be all the things or none of the things.
In fact, it can still be a whole lot of things IF we can find ways to streamline our executive function in other places and be sure we are taking time to recharge before diving in again.
And that’s exactly what we are going to talk about next, starting with looking for ways to…
1. Externalize Your Executive Function to Reduce Holiday Mental Load
The more ways we can find to offload our brain’s need to remember all the things, decide all the things, and stay on top of all the things, the more executive function energy we will have for all these added events and tasks during the holidays.
Easy ways to offload your executive function might look like:
Create a Thought Parking Lot
One of my favorite ways to externalize executive function is to create a thought parking lot.
This could be a small notebook or the Notes app on your phone where you capture random thoughts, gift ideas, or events you need to add to your calendar.
It doesn't need to be pretty or organized. The goal is simply to get those thoughts out of your working memory and into a place where you can find them later.
Set Alarms and Reminders
With all the excitement and extra activities the holidays bring, ADHD time blindness can make it easy to lose track of time.
A simple alarm can interrupt your hyperfocus and remind you to check yourself before you wreck yourself (and your schedule).
Create Checklists
Checklists can support working memory by recording the steps of a task so you don't have to remember them all.
For example, a checklist for tidying the living room can make it easier for anyone in the family to help. Or you could create a holiday-specific checklist for setting the Thanksgiving table.
And the great thing about creating the checklists is that you can often reuse them so it’s a great ROI for the executive function effort.
Need help getting started?
I've created a free printable Holiday Planning Checklist for ADHD moms that covers many of the common tasks families juggle during the holiday season. Use it as a starting point, then customize it to fit your family's traditions and activities.
🎄 Download Your Free ADHD Holiday Planning Checklist
Along with externalizing your executive function, it helps to…
2. Reduce the Effort Required for Holiday Tasks
Let's say you need to move a bunch of stuff from one place to another using a wagon.
Seems simple enough, right?
But for those of us with ADHD, we might get stuck deciding what to put in the wagon. Or we overload it, making it harder to pull. Or maybe we've finally gotten motivated to start moving, only to realize the wagon is sitting on gravel.
Suddenly, what should have been a simple task feels overwhelming.
But here's the thing: The goal is to get the wagon from point A to point B. How we get there is negotiable.
Maybe we let someone else decide what goes in the wagon. Maybe we lighten the load. Or maybe we notice there's a sidewalk across the street that would make the whole trip easier.
We're still accomplishing the goal. We're just reducing the effort required to get there.
During the holidays, that might mean ordering gifts online instead of visiting five different stores, asking someone else to bring a dish to Thanksgiving dinner, or simplifying a family tradition that has become more work than fun.
Remember, getting something done doesn't mean doing it the hardest possible way. Look for the simplest means to an end.
And my final tip for lightening your mental load this holiday season is to…
3. Create Space to Recharge and Prevent Holiday Burnout
The more we pile on to our calendar and to-do list, the less we are able to stay present and enjoy the magic we are working so hard to create.
And to be honest, our brains may work better if they are given a chance to relax rather than jumping from commitment to commitment over and over for six straight weeks.
If we want to preserve some executive function for our everyday mom and business life during the holidays, it is crucial to create space for our brain to reset and recharge.
Pause Before Saying “Yes”
One of the greatest tools in our recharge tool box, especially during the holidays, can be knowing when to say “yes” and “no”.
Sometimes, taking just a short pause before saying “yes” and adding another commitment to our calendar can give our brain and body a bit of breathing room. It doesn’t mean everything is a “no”.
It just means you’re training your brain to be a bit more deliberate before saying “yes”.
Set Boundaries Before the Holidays
It can also help to decide on some boundaries before the holiday season gets into full swing.
Maybe you limit the number of activities you'll attend each week or decide how many weekends you want to keep free.
And if you're already knee-deep in holiday commitments, it's not too late! You can still leave a party early or gracefully bow out of something if you're feeling overwhelmed.
Schedule Time to Recharge
My final suggestion for helping you create space during the holidays is to schedule your self-care or downtime now. Just like the time for any task or project, rest time won’t just magically appear.
And putting off rest until everything is finished can put you on the fast track to New Year's burnout.
Remember, it doesn’t have to be inactive or expensive to be considered downtime or self-care. Do something you enjoy since you’re spending a lot of time making sure others are having a good time.
If you're struggling to make room for yourself during a busy season, check out my related episode, “How to Make Time for ADHD Self-Care and Prevent Burnout as a Busy Mompreneur,” for more practical ideas.
One Small Step to Make the Holidays Easier with ADHD
With the holiday season fast approaching, I hope you'll look for ways to lighten your mental load so you can actually enjoy the memories you're working so hard to create.
As a mom of a 15-year-old, I can tell you there have definitely been years when I was more present than others. And the years when I was able to slow down and really enjoy time with my friends and family are the ones I treasure most.
My suggestion? As you prepare for the holidays, look for just ONE place where you can make things a little easier on yourself.
Maybe that's externalizing your executive function, reducing your effort, or creating some space to recharge.
Because the goal isn't to do the holidays perfectly. It's to have enough energy left to actually enjoy them.
Need Help Managing Your ADHD Mental Load?
If juggling the holidays, your business, and mom life still feels overwhelming, that's exactly the kind of thing I help my coaching clients work through.
As an executive function and accountability coach for ADHD mom entrepreneurs, I help clients prioritize responsibilities, develop realistic strategies, and follow through on what matters in their businesses, homes, and personal lives.
Click below to schedule a Free, No-Obligation Clarity Call to discuss how I can support you during the holidays and beyond.
